13 men. 5 rounds. Unlimited Zyns. One epic draft controversy. A front-wiper debate that shook the foundation of friendship. This is the story of BBI 2025.
13 degenerates who answered the call
"Erotic dancer. JV golfer. Elite boozer."
A tragedy in three acts
Doc couldn't make it. Sten was back in. Then came the bombshell: Spaniard was a "maybe." His wife's birthday fell on March 19th.
Train launched into a Jerry Maguire-level manifesto, demanding Spaniard attend. The group voted unanimously to reject his withdrawal. BBI bylaws were cited. Executive orders were proposed.
But on January 26, Captain made it official: "Everyone say their good byes to Spaniard."
The replacement? A 2.2 handicap, CWU football alum, author, podcaster from Mount Vernon named Jacox. Train welcomed him to the thunderdome. 9ball asked about his pre-round routine. The BBI had its 13th man.
"You broke my heart Spaniard. I don't know if I'll recover."
February 5, 2025 — Pumphouse Bar, Bellevue
Captains: Train (Adam Harris) vs. Radar / Beaver (Blake Raney) — the Gig Harbor Flirts.
The venue: Pumphouse, Train's favorite dive bar in Bellevue. The vibe: milk shots. Train ordered whole milk while Radar had a hazy IPA. Coin flip determined draft order. Beaver won the milk shot competition with a dominant two-handed method. Radar got first pick.
Captain's slow-drip release drove the group insane. Picks were revealed over weeks.
* First trade in BBI history! Train traded pick 3.1 for Radar's 3.2, giving Radar back-to-back picks. Radar picked Prez (reuniting the Step Bros) and then 9ball. The group lost their minds.
"Radar said screw handicaps. I want a winner."
"Great guy... but worst pick ever."
Team Good vs. Team Bad
*Prez went down with back injury. Subs: Gordo (Alec Lang, R4), Steven Bell (R5)
Final Score: Gig Harbor 9.5 – Peninsula 8.5 • Team Train wins the Breakfast Ball Invitational at Ak-Chin Southern Dunes
5 rounds, 4 days, infinite memories
Hosted by Joevid at the Lombardo compound. Stag Night. Tomahawks, tenderloin, NY strips, potatoes, veggies, wine, bourbon/rye. Sten and Beaver on Old Fashioned duty with clear round ice cubes. Ice cream sandwiches — limit one per Shig. Last year's losers served and cleaned.
Three scramble teams mixing the rosters:
Horse race at the end. 9ball picked the hitting order. Bates found himself alone: "Wait, I'm the only person hitting?!" Rooster (Jacox) nailed a world-shaking putt. Went to overtime. BRay hit the lag putt of his life in the dark.
2-man net best ball match play, 85% of index. Double session — morning and afternoon rounds at Raven (6,700 yards, Silver tees). Cattail was cart path only which made things spicy.
New format: 2-man Best Ball Stroke Play. Best ball on odd holes, aggregate on evens. Then switched to straight best ball match play.
Sten and 9ball were paired together, leading to the greatest "stroking" jokes in BBI history:
"So 9 and I just stroke each other? For 18 holes?"
"You're in luck! I am the best stroker this side of the Cascade Mountains."
2-man net ball match play + 2-man net best ball stroke play running simultaneously. The finale. Came down to the wire.
Every stroke, every skin, every dollar
Round-by-round breakdown of the carnage
| Team | R1 | R2 | R3 | R4 | R5 MP | R5 SP | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Gig Harbor | 1.50 | 2.00 | 2.00 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 1.00 | 9.50 |
| Peninsula | 1.50 | 1.00 | 1.00 | 1.50 | 1.50 | 2.00 | 8.50 |
Thursday, March 20 • 2-Man Net Best Ball Match Play
The opening salvo. CB2 and Dirt came out absolutely nuclear, dismantling Tanker and Joevid 5 & 3. Meanwhile, Jacox and Train squeaked past Sten and Radar 1 up in a battle that came down to the wire. Shig and 9ball held serve against Prez and Captain for a tie. Even-steven after day one.
| Peninsula | Result | Gig Harbor | Pen | GH |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Shig + 9ball | Tied | Prez + Captain | 0.50 | 0.50 |
| CB2 + Dirt | 5 & 3 | Tanker + Joevid | 1.00 | 0.00 |
| Sten + Radar | 1 up | Jacox + Train | 0.00 | 1.00 |
Skins ($117 total):
Friday, March 21 (AM) • 2-Man Net Best Ball Match Play • Cart Path Only
Gig Harbor came out swinging. Jacox and Prez took down 9ball and CB2 2 & 1. Captain and Tanker handled Shig and Sten 2 up. But the highlight? Dirt and Radar absolutely ANNIHILATED Joevid and Train 7 & 6. That is not a typo. Seven and six. They played 12 holes. Joevid and Train had roughly zero chance after the front nine. Dirt was in the zone and Radar was his wingman. Brutal.
| Peninsula | Result | Gig Harbor | Pen | GH |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 9ball + CB2 | 2 & 1 | Jacox + Prez | 0.00 | 1.00 |
| Shig + Sten | 2 up | Captain + Tanker | 0.00 | 1.00 |
| Dirt + Radar | 7 & 6 | Joevid + Train | 1.00 | 0.00 |
Skins ($119 total):
Friday, March 21 (PM) • 2-Man Best Ball Stroke Play (Net)
The afternoon session at Devil's Claw was a format change: stroke play, not match play. And Captain + Joevid went absolutely ballistic. Net 62. TEN under par. They were making birdies like it was their job. Tanker and Train tied for second at -6 with 9ball and Sten. Gig Harbor takes 2 of the 3 points. Peninsula's Shig + Dirt duo came in dead last at -2. Not exactly "Team Good" material.
| Pos | Team (Players) | Net | To Par | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | GH — Captain + Joevid | 62 | -10 | 1.00 |
| T2 | PEN — 9ball + Sten | 66 | -6 | 1.00 |
| T2 | GH — Tanker + Train | 66 | -6 | 1.00 |
| 4 | GH — Prez + Jacox | 67 | -5 | 0.00 |
| 5 | PEN — CB2 + Radar | 68 | -4 | 0.00 |
| 6 | PEN — Shig + Dirt | 70 | -2 | 0.00 |
Skins ($120 total):
"Three eagles AND a double eagle in the same round? Joevid had three eagles. Dirt had a double eagle. The golf gods were on something."
Saturday, March 22 • 2-Man Net Best Ball Match Play
Prez was officially down. Back gave out. The warrior bowed out and Gordo (Alec Lang) stepped in as sub for Gig Harbor. Tanker and Train steamrolled 9ball and Dirt 3 & 1. But Shig and Radar fired back, beating Gordo and Joevid 3 & 2. CB2 and Sten battled Jacox and Captain to a dead tie. Split round. The tension was building.
| Peninsula | Result | Gig Harbor | Pen | GH |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 9ball + Dirt | 3 & 1 | Tanker + Train | 0.00 | 1.00 |
| CB2 + Sten | Tied | Jacox + Captain | 0.50 | 0.50 |
| Shig + Radar | 3 & 2 | Gordo + Joevid | 1.00 | 0.00 |
Skins ($117 total):
Sunday, March 23 • Match Play + Stroke Play simultaneously • Ak-Chin Southern Dunes
Heading into the final round: Gig Harbor 7.00 – Peninsula 5.00. Peninsula needed a miracle. And they damn near got one.
Steven Bell subbed in for Prez on Gig Harbor. The format? Match play AND stroke play running at the same time. Three points up for grabs in each. Six total points. Gig Harbor needed just 2 to clinch. Peninsula needed 4 to pull off the comeback.
| Peninsula | Result | Gig Harbor | Pen | GH |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 9ball + Radar | Tied | Steven Bell + Tanker | 0.50 | 0.50 |
| CB2 + Shig | 3 & 2 | Train + Captain | 0.00 | 1.00 |
| Sten + Dirt | 2 up | Joevid + Jacox | 1.00 | 0.00 |
| Pos | Team (Players) | Net | To Par | Pts |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | GH — Train + Captain | 63 | -9 | 1.00 |
| 2 | PEN — CB2 + Shig | 65 | -7 | 1.00 |
| 3 | PEN — Sten + Dirt | 69 | -3 | 1.00 |
| T4 | PEN — 9ball + Radar | 73 | +1 | 0.00 |
| T4 | GH — Joevid + Jacox | 73 | +1 | 0.00 |
| 6 | GH — Steven Bell + Tanker | 74 | +2 | 0.00 |
Peninsula actually WON the final day 3.50 to 2.50. But it wasn't enough. Train and Captain — the duo that was on fire all week — sealed it with a dominant -9 net 63 in stroke play, earning the clinching point. The deficit was too deep. Final: Gig Harbor 9.5, Peninsula 8.5.
Skins ($119 total):
Determined by the data. Argued about forever.
Canadian Skins purse totals — $592 allocated across 5 rounds
| # | Player | R1 | R2 | R3 | R4 | R5 | Total |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Shig | $26 | $17 | — | $18 | $51 | $112 |
| 2 | Joevid | $13 | $17 | $48 | $9 | $17 | $104 |
| 3 | Dirt | $13 | $34 | $12 | $27 | — | $86 |
| 4 | Sten | $13 | — | — | $18 | $17 | $48 |
| 5 | Jacox | $13 | $17 | — | $18 | — | $48 |
| 6 | 9ball | — | $17 | — | $9 | $17 | $43 |
| 7 | Captain | $13 | — | $12 | — | $17 | $42 |
| 8 | Prez | $26 | — | $12 | — | — | $38 |
| 9 | Tanker | — | — | $24 | $9 | — | $33 |
| 10 | Train | — | $17 | — | $9 | — | $26 |
| 11 | CB2 | — | — | $12 | — | — | $12 |
| 12 | Radar | — | — | — | — | — | $0 |
Radar: drafted first overall, captained Team Peninsula, won the most dominant match of the trip... and took home zero skin dollars. BBI is beautiful.
What happens at BBI gets immortalized forever
When Train arrived at Pumphouse, Captain had a hazy IPA. Train ordered milk. "When in Rome," he said. The milk shot competition determined draft order. Beaver's two-handed method sealed the first pick.
"I was granted permission to bring the skin boat to tuna town recently. This ship is full steam ahead!" Also packed tear-away shorts for his first birdie. Also introduced himself as "Erotic dancer. JV golfer. Elite boozer." The BBI had found its 13th man.
704 messages. Joe would fire off 7 texts in a row about anything — go-kart bets, champions dinner logistics, demanding picks be released, and late-night speeches that the group dubbed "Joewanise" (now offered on Babel). Nobody texts like Joevid.
The draft happened February 5. The final pick wasn't revealed until February 23. Captain held the group hostage, releasing picks only when "enough chatter" appeared. Required predictions before reveals. Set arbitrary deadlines ("if Sten shows up by 8:59..."). The group called him a dictator. "Balz putting the dick in dictator." "What is this, North Korea?!"
Post-trip, Joevid challenged Bates to a $500 go-kart race. "No one will ever beat me in go karts." Bates accepted: "$500." Joevid demanded gas karts only — "Electric kart they govern at every corner... they suck." The bet stands.
After Joevid's nacho dominance in 2024, Bates challenged him to a burger cook-off. Bates "flipped and he seared, and walked off a champ, the crowd loudly cheered." Joevid was left salty. Bates stands undefeated in the kitchen.
Front wipers vs back wipers. Joevid, Bates, and Dirt proudly declared front-wiper status. The rest of the group was appalled. A bet was made. BRay was emotionally damaged for days afterward. "For the past day and a half, when I wipe I feel a tad bit insecure."
Every time Captain annoyed the group (which was constantly), Joevid threatened to start a rival tour: "joeLIV" — "JoLIV with Saudi $$." Captain's response? "You can do that when you start the BBI LIV next year."
Train handed out THC gummies like candy. One gummy "took Rooster silent for 7 hours." BRay almost passed out on hole 15 from a 3mg Zyn. Train himself was "high as a kite, still pure-ing his wood, striping 3s like only a baked legend could."
"Tanker rose from the hot tub, then drained four balls." Basketballs, you degenerates. Way above his weight class.
Shig ran a sportsbook during the trip. 96% of bets were on Joevid vs 9ball matchups. "Dozer Sports Book is a beautiful new part of the BBI DNA." 9ball lost $1,500 but earned the right to sign the flag.
Prez gave his all but his back gave out. "He bowed out early, with head held high, a warrior grounded, who once touched the sky." Gordo filled in as sub.
"Not once, but twice — he doubled the feat. His ball untouched, the air took the heat." The Whiff Bet was paid in full.
By CB2, with assists from ChatGPT & the boys
5,061 lines of pure chaos — November 2024 to September 2025
"It's the laughs late at night and the stories retold, the bonds that get stronger, not weaker with old. It's knowing these weekends are sacred, not small — and friendship, not golf, is the heart of it all."